I just had the longest and most stressful week of my life.
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My new favorite word is "nonreactive."
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Driving a borrowed car is tricky and disturbing.
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Prayers are powerful. I owe my new life to St. Jude and St. Claire.
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I have wonderful friends.
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Sometimes, I can’t help but feel unworthy.
I was at the Museum Cafe the other day, enjoying a glass of caramelish coffee slush while taking advantage of what I think is the only Airborne Access Wifi hotspot in the Ayala Center. When my battery finally died, I decided to powder my nose before heading off to my next appointment.
I was busy combing my hair when a really tall girl came in. Now, I don’t mean to be judgmental, but when one is wearing shorts tiny enough to fit seven-year olds and a top that’s barely there when rain’s pouring like it intends to fill Angat Dam in one hour, I can’t help but think why someone like her would be hanging out in my "work station" (err.. sorry for sounding like a snob).
I was still prettyfying myself when she finished doing her business and she suddenly told me the flush isn’t working in a trying-to-be-feminine-but-actually-masculine voice.
I froze.
A voice in my head was screaming, "YOU ARE SOOOO NOT A GIRL!!" in a stupid Joey sort of way and another voice replied, "Yeah, as if she/he doesn’t know that yet."
As I was just partly thawed, I could only muster, "Oh, okay" as I watched "her" wash "her" hands and I noticed the tell-tale wrist that only confirmed my suspicion.
I don’t mind being around gay people. They’re fun, or at least my gay friends are. But I kinda felt violated having to share a toilet with a someone who’s trying to be something else, as if he/she isn’t a stranger enough. I felt cheated. Naively so.
It’s ironic how one can be so uncomfortable in a comfort room.
Sigh.
How can something as consuming as anger take so long to eat up something as tiny as I am?
I’m just so tired of it taking small bites without warning, taking its time, and taking advantage of my most vulnerable moments.
It’s not funny anymore.
